Embrace Your Inner Beauty

            You’re lying to yourself and everyone else if you say you’ve never looked at a picture on a billboard or in a magazine and felt jealous or perhaps even anger that you couldn’t look like that.

            It’s honestly a lot easier than you think. There are tons of free apps that allow you to completely change your looks. I can’t even imagine what the ones you have to pay for can do to you – it’s a scary thought.

You’re also lying if you say you’ve never gone through the phase of despising your body. Whether you told yourself you were too fat, too short, too skinny, your hair was too curly, your nose too big, and so on and so forth; everyone at one time has picked his or her body apart. There are always going to be some things you might not like about yourself. But there is nothing you can do other than accept it and move on. Embrace those flaws and imperfections because they are what make you who you are.

            So many women, and even men, today go to drastic measures to fit society’s standard of what “beautiful” is. It’s sickening as well as sad. No longer do people feel comfortable in their own skin because they try so hard to be everyone else’s definition of perfect that they lose themselves in the process.

            When I posted the photo above to both facebook and Instagram I got much more feedback than I expected. I didn’t do it for the attention or to get compliments or for someone to tell me I’m naturally pretty. Instead I did it to show people that I accept myself - imperfections, flaws and all.

            I had many people contact me to say that the original, unedited picture was so much prettier and much more realistic. I also started a bit of a trend on social media with girls posting unedited pictures of themselves and it felt empowering.

            One of my friends messaged me and said she wanted to start a women’s beauty campaign. There is nothing more I would love to do, and maybe one day we will be able to.

            She also added this:

            “Your imperfections are what make you the only you in the world. They are what is going to make somebody love you someday. They are what should make a woman confident and proud of herself.”

            Thankfully, some companies today such as Aerie and Dove are promoting ad campaigns that focus on natural beauty with unedited images. These companies are out to prove that women don’t need to be photo shopped and every girl is beautiful in her own way.

            Botox, plastic surgery, and tons of makeup and other beauty products can change your outward appearance. But who wants to go through the time, money, and sometimes even pain to be someone their not?

Be you. There is only one so make it the best one.

Too Young With Too Many Dreams

In my opinion, it’s completely unrealistic to ask 18 year olds to decide whatever it is that they want to do for the rest of their lives.

And then people criticize them for changing their major an average of six times.

Adults who are 60 years old tell me that they still don’t know what they want to do.

If this is the case, why are we rushed to go to college if making a decision is unrealistic?

Why is it frowned upon to take time off to decide?

Why also is it frowned upon to not go to college? Some of the smartest and most successful people I know had no formal education.

I apologize for all the questions, but as I’m watching $250,000 go towards my education at Syracuse University, I contemplate whether or not I made the right decision.

I don’t think that we as students should be forced to grow up and make a decision while in high school. I think kids should be encouraged to follow their dreams. Maybe some will go right to college. I knew that college was really my only option since I’m not good with my hands and have no real skills to pursue. I figured if I got an education it would get me somewhere. I’m being educated to write since my degree is journalism. Nonetheless, in four years I’ll have a piece of paper that basically says I’m a really good writer and maybe I’ll have a job.

I don’t think people should be discouraged if they go to college and things don’t work out for them. Everyday I question whether I’m doing the right thing or not by going to college. Literally everyday I change my mind of what I want to do. Someone may ask me in the morning what my future plans are and by the time lunch rolls around they could ask me again and my answer could have done a 180.

Humans are naturally indecisive, and teenagers are probably the worst. We want to please our parents, our teachers, and are naturally competitive with friends and want to prove we can go to a good school and make something of ourselves.

If I ever have kids someday I’m going to leave it up to them. If they tell me they want to go to the military I’m not going to stop them. If they say they want to take the money that we’ve saved for their college education and instead try to start some business, if I believe they can do it and have the drive to I’ll let them. If my child wants to go to college, I’ll encourage them to go. Everyone is different and not everyone fits the college mold. I think society should stop forcing it upon us that a formal education is necessary to survive. It might be a good thing to have, but necessary is a little extreme. It’s a judgment call.

It also really bothers me when people look down on others who don’t have a degree. Why is it their concern?

My dad tells me all the time he wishes he had continued to go to school and get his master’s and law degrees. I know my dad is smarter than so many people who have law degrees and all sorts of other degrees. I sometimes think that those extra pieces of paper are just ego boosters and bragging rights.

I hope one-day society realizes that it’s unfair to try to lump everyone into the college life. Let people make their own decisions. Maybe some should be in college and just need the encouragement to get there, but if someone is happy doing whatever it is they’re doing then let them be. They’ll make it work.

67 Things I Wish I Had Known at 18

This article popped up multiple times on my Facebook timeline and I thought it was a must share for every girl (and even guy) out there.

http://totalsororitymove.com/67-things-i-wish-i-had-known-at-18-3/

Everyone your age is going through similar situations you are experiencing. You're not alone and not the first to encounter problems in life. Take it in stride and use these 67 things as lessons to get through life.

You'll be glad you did, trust me.

Unplugging

I was told that when I went to college I’d probably learn more outside of the classroom than I would sitting in a lecture hall. That moment became clear after a conversation I had with a guy I live with last night. We stayed up chatting in the lounge until morning, watching the drinkers straggle in and talking life, love, and relationships.

My friend and I talked about how much we obsess over texts and “what it means” when someone doesn’t text back right away. We discussed completely irrational situations and made-up circumstances, nights spent worrying and unnecessary drama.

Our conversation kept me up most of the night and the conclusion I came to was that I have such a love/hate relationship with social media and technology.

            Unfortunately though, I’m part of the generation who has to bridge the gap between technology and tradition.

            What happened to being straightforward about your feelings and outright telling someone that you liked them? And why does it seem foreign to call someone on the phone just to chat?

            In our world today, there are a few different ways to interpret notifications. We can assume that if a person likes our facebook posts and favorites our tweets that they may like us or perhaps dislike us so it’s actually a form of mocking or sarcasm to like and favorite. Another option is that the person is just very friendly and has similar views.

            When I was in elementary school, pen pals were common. I’m sure if I asked my seven-year-old brother today about a pen pal he’d have no clue what I was talking about.

            I also struck out on the chance of ever receiving an old-fashioned letter in the mail (yes, post offices and snail mail do still exist) from a boy. Unless a traditional man with some incredible gentleman characteristics appears in my life, I don’t think that will be happening.

            I know personally I feel confused when someone’s read receipt indicates he or she has opened my text but have yet to reply. And as a member of this generation what do I do? Social media stalk them of course. Only to make myself upset that the person has tweeted or facebook shows this person is online.

            Why the hell do I let these things bother me? Why does my mind deem it necessary to be in contact with people 24/7?

            A few months ago I went through a rough patch with a guy. I thought things were great and we meant something to each other, but turns out I was wrong. I did something completely unheard of for my generation – disconnected.

            I thought that if I took some time to get away from college and memories of him maybe I could get a better sense of what to do and how I should get over this boy. It only took a weekend trip home to my traditional, old school town to realize that our elders lived in a simpler and easier to understand time period.

            Disconnecting was easy. I let my phone die and didn’t charge it all weekend. I also didn’t log onto my computer. (If you’re reading this and over the age of 40, yes, it can be done. Your children can put down the electronics for a few hours and be human). The woods made my getaway trip that much easier to help sort things out. When I got home I went to our family’s hunting camp that doesn’t have very good cell phone reception anyway. I somehow drove my SUV up a few trails to this huge mountain where I parked and sat on my roof for hours looking at the fall scenery. Wow. It doesn’t get much easier to clear your head than that.

            My time alone with no connection to the rest of the world allowed me to think and reflect on my life. I highly recommend allowing yourself the chance to be alone. It’s such a great feeling and you feel better afterwards because it gives you time to think without being distracted.

            Now, one of my biggest deal breakers when I first start seeing a guy is his cell phone usage. If he texts a buddy or two every now and then or something about work comes up I’m completely understanding. When the phone sits on the dinner table in a restaurant or if he actually has the guts to use it while we’re on a date, NEXT. I don’t want to sound self-centered, but you’re with me for a reason, the rest of your phone contacts don’t need to be invited on our date.

            I feel bad for future generations because technology is only going to get worse. Google Glass is going to make it so people can be so in tune with technology, those around them won’t even realize people are using it. People are going to become more socially awkward and not know how to communicate in person.

            I can only hope that some will still cling to the past and realize it’s okay to unplug every now and then. It won’t kill you and it’s healthy to do so.

10 Ways for Men to Win Bonus Points

            My entire life I’ve always been labeled “one of the guys” because I’m such a tomboy and just have a better relationship with men since there isn’t any drama or fakeness. Many times my guy friends come to me for female advice because I’m the best of both worlds to them.

            I decided to comprise a list of 10 simple, random things that will help any man win major bonus points with a girl, whether that be his girlfriend, wife, or even just someone he’s crushing on. They work, trust me.

10. Randomly slip your hand into her back pocket.

When you’re walking along and just want to be cute, slide your hand into her back pocket. It’s even better when you’re kissing her and do it to pull her a bit closer.

9. Kiss her on the forehead.

Forehead kisses are sweet and she’ll feel special. It’s an easy way for you to show her you care because they are simple kisses that will give her a sense of safety and security. It lets her know you like her and you’re not into it just for sex. It shows just a bit of affection without going over the top like a full out PDA make out. (Even more bonus points if the forehead kiss comes after a huge bear hug!)

8. Give her your hoodie.

As much as she’s going to tease you and try to steal it, every girl knows you’re not actually going to part with your favorite baseball hat. She’s going to want to wear that too, but give her your hoodie so she can sleep in it. It smells like you and when you’re not there to cuddle and fall asleep next to her it’s the next best thing.

7. Surprise her with flowers for no occasion.

Don’t wait until she’s mad at you and you’re trying to make up for something. Out of the blue either show up on her doorstep with a bouquet or have one sent to her. Flowers are expensive, but they don’t have to be from the store. You can pick them yourself, no shame in that! Even a single rose is just as romantic, if not more romantic than a dozen if a sweet note accompanies it.

6. Run your fingers through her hair.

She will absolutely love if you play with her hair. Don’t forget to tuck it behind her ears when you go to kiss her too!

5. Kiss her in mid-sentence.

Don’t do it all the time because she will get mad you keep interrupting her, but every now and then just look her in the eyes while she’s talking and make her pause with a kiss. This also works if you’re fighting and you’re ready to surrender. It’s a way of saying you’re sorry and just want forgiven. Also do not do this if she’s trying to tell you something serious or important. Wait for the perfect moment.

4. Remember the little things she says even if they’re pointless.

Prove to her you listen to everything she says. Bring up a point she made in conversation weeks ago. She’ll be taken back that you paid attention to such a trivial detail about her life. Remembering the little things shows you’re genuinely interested in her.

3. Remind her that you care.

If you care about her you want what’s best for her and for her to be happy. Sometimes that means giving up time spent with her so she can do other things she loves or spend time with someone she hasn’t seen in awhile. She’ll know you care if you encourage her to follow her dreams and not stand in the way of that. Always support her even if you don’t necessarily agree with the situation. Remember that it’s still her life and it’s ultimately her decision. Make sure she knows she’s first in your life. She doesn’t want to take a backseat to your hobby or job all the time so be sure to make her your top priority and keep her as happy as possible. (Do so without being a pushover though)

2. Appreciate the little things she does.

She probably really, really didn’t want to come over just for you to work on your truck all day because it was the only day you had to do it. If she didn’t complain (and even if she did a little) show her that it meant a lot to you. When she takes the time to make you dinner, (even if it’s terrible) find the good in it. If she’s going out of her to do special things for you make sure you return the favor.

1. Spoil her with love, not gifts.

Treat her like a queen. You don’t need to buy her everything. She’d much rather be spoiled with love and genuine compassion. Sometimes that can be as simple as holding her hand and making sure she knows how much she means to you. Tell her everyday how much you love and care about her, but don’t say it just to fill a void in the conversation. Those three words are so powerful yet so overused. They don’t hold true meaning unless expressed correctly. Maybe write her a letter and leave it for her to wake up to about how much you love her. Don’t be afraid to let her see the sweet side of you.

            These work I promise. Don’t use them all at once all of a sudden though or your girl will know something is wrong or has changed. Life is about waiting for a good moment and turning it into a perfect one.

Every girl wants to live a fairytale. Be her knight in shining armor. I say knight rather than prince because it’s the knight who actually proves to the princess he cares while the prince sits at his castle and waits. You’re never going to find your princess if you stand on the sidelines letting someone else win her over.

Best of luck and may your fairytale have a happily ever after.

A Dream Relationship

These are the characteristics that should be at the top of everyone's list.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/sophie-martin/2014/01/21-things-to-look-for-in-the-person-you-marry/

The Large Impact of Small Words

            The other day I received a text out of the blue from a kid I went to high school with. We were on again, off again friends with no hard feelings when we parted ways at graduation, but also no promises to ever meet up again.

            Unfortunately our class was filled with cliques and drama so the chances of us ever having a reunion or meeting up in the future are slim to none.

            As a class though we experienced a painful tragedy when the mother of one of our classmates was killed in a car crash back in October. This boy was friends with everyone and the entire class took it very hard.

            For the sake of confidentiality I’m not going to include his name, but the text went like this:

            Hey Francesca, it’s        . I just read your bog about With Life, Come Lessons: Fearless. I haven’t really shared this with many people but ever since        ’s mom passed away (God bless her soul) I have been struggling to understand my faith and the concept of life and death. While struggling, the fear of death grew inside me. For two months that’s all I could think about. It was controlling me and I wasn’t the same person. After reading your blog I realized that we shouldn’t fear death. Reading that made me feel more accepting of death and to not let it control me while I’m alive. I just wanted to let you know that you helped me out without even knowing it.

            I didn’t start this blog for any reason other than to be able to express myself. I’m not trying to be a psychologist, or Dear Abby, but I want to help people. If publicly sharing my feelings over the internet helps someone cope with their own feelings and problems and perhaps change their view on life, I feel like I’m making an impact and doing good.

            That single compliment may have been one of the best I’ve ever received in my life. It’s incredible how much a few words can affect a person.

            I hope this blog has helped not just my friend from high school, but others as well.

            To the sender of that text if you’re reading this: thank you so much. Your kind words are the reason I continue to write and why I want to help people and make a difference in the world.