A "Secret" Every Girl Should Know

            It took a lot of failed relationships to learn that “cowgirl secret.” Oceans worth of tears, countless sleepless nights, and hours spent with gallons of ice cream and my best friend.

            Ever since I was a little girl my dad always told me to never settle for anything less than the best. I always assumed he was referring to grades or my performance in sports, and most of the time he probably was, but now I know he was also referring to men.

            Many girls today are content with a man who treats them terribly just so they can say they have a boyfriend. Another common problem is that after a few months a girl feels stuck in a relationship because her boyfriend becomes so dependent on her and she feels no way out. Girls in these sorts of relationships stay with the guy not out of love, but out of persuasion, manipulation, and often force.

            No one should ever feel “obligated” to stay in a relationship. Couple hood is a two way street and if one side is more dominant than the other there is something wrong.

            The rule listed in the picture is one that every girl should follow. It’s so sad to see a woman who has no respect for herself and allows a man to treat her any way he pleases.

            I’ve blogged about it before, but I think I need to mention it again – set a standard and don’t lower it. If a guy doesn’t meet that standard then he isn’t worth your time. He should treat you respectfully all the time.

            For a man to never look at you less than you are, you can’t give yourself a bad image. It amazes me the outfits I see girls wear to go to parties at college. They seriously are begging for negative attention and it’s pathetic and a sad reflection of our generation. Have some self-respect and realize that if a guy is only paying attention to you because you’re showing more skin than everyone else, he isn’t worth your time.

            You don’t need to be the butt of his jokes, you’re not stupid, you aren’t worthless, and you can do whatever you set your mind to. Never let a man, or anyone for that matter, convince you of those.

            A man doesn’t define who you are, that’s up to you. You don’t need to rely on him. Granted, it’s nice to have a faithful friend such as a boyfriend to fall back on, but don’t put all your faith and love into him because you never know the day you wake up and he will no longer be there. Be strong for yourself and love who you are. If you love who you are you’re going to find a good guy who loves you for you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Life is about searching for the right guy and in the process going through a few not so good ones. You’ll find the right one eventually, just be patient and give it time. He’s out there and looking for you too but you have to be willing to search for him.

            Jerks are never worth the time, trouble, or tears. Don’t let them have the satisfaction of knowing they had that much power and control of your life. Head high, deep breath, wipe the tears, and smile. Let him know what he had and what he lost and what he’s missing. You’re too important and special to not be treated like a princess. Find the man who is worth the wait.

WANTED

I think every girl in her life has her vision of what that “perfect man” is like.

Not going to lie, I’ve dated quite a few guys. Those relationships didn’t work out for various reasons, but also because he didn’t measure up to what my view of this perfect guy is.

            I don’t want a guy to change to meet my standards though. If he’s not himself then he’s going to be too wishy-washy and a pushover in a relationship.

            So I decided to comprise a list of what I’m looking for. If you know a man like this send him my way!

           

            I want a country boy.

Why? For multiple reasons. First, because he’s not going to spend hours like a preppy frat boy getting ready to go out. A man who spends longer than me getting ready I have no interest in. Maybe I’m being stereotypical saying a country boy, but they are some of the hardest workers. My dream guy isn’t lazy. Sure, every now and then everyone needs a lazy day, but I want someone who busts his ass and doesn’t quit until the job is done. Country boys also have small town morals. They’ll drop whatever they’re doing to help their friends or even complete strangers. And obviously I want a guy who respects my love of horses and acknowledges that he may play second to them sometimes.

But moving on:

I need to be able to have deep conversations with him and be able to talk about things like feelings. But then turn around a few minutes later joking and teasing each other. On that note, a guy who makes me laugh is a must.

This man must realize that even after he “has me” and I’m his girl, he should never stop trying to show me how much I mean to him.

Here’s a secret: there is nothing I love more than surprises. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top. Even just leaving a note for me to have a great day goes a long way.

I’m a simple girl. I don’t need to “go out” all the time. I’m a cheap date I swear. Take me mudding, fishing, four wheeling or snowmobiling, or to a field so we can star watch, all I want is just to spend quality time with him.  

Also make plans every once in awhile instead of leaving it up to me.

The little things, like waking up to cute text messages every so often, cuddling, forehead kisses, taking pictures with me, and playing with my hair all go a long way.

Be goofy. Sing with me. He doesn’t have to be George Strait, but when we’re driving around I need someone to be Johnny to my June.

Some major things:

He must realize it’s not all about him. He can’t be egotistical, arrogant, and think the earth revolves around him because it sure as shit doesn’t.

            He has to treat his momma right. I was always told that the way a man treats his mom is how he’ll treat his future wife. If his mom doesn’t mean something to him I can tell you real quick how the relationship will go….

I’m looking for a gentleman. I like to believe that chivalry still isn’t dead. A guy who walks on the outside of the street and opens the door is a keeper. I also am not going to play second to his cell phone. If we’re together and he spends more time on his phone than he does talking to me, I see where we stand and how important I must be in his life.

He must respect me. I’ve let myself be disrespected and treated bad enough times to realize I’m better than that and deserve more.

He has to be honest and faithful. I think this goes without saying but some guys still struggle with this concept.

            Listen to me. I don’t like to share my feelings, but I guarantee if I’m being deep and need a heart to heart it’s something important.

            He needs to encourage me and show me he cares. Be my number one fan in everything I do and make sure I know I always have a cheerleader supporting me.

            This perfect guy needs to accept my family, appetite, uncontrollable laughter, random outbursts, friends, dreams, and me.

           

            I want a best friend, not just a companion. He doesn’t need to be perfect, just perfect for me.

            He’ll need to accept my past, realize I’m flawed, acknowledge I’ve made mistakes, and recognize I have weaknesses.

            I’m waiting for the man who would do anything just to be my everything.

            Maybe my standards are too high? And maybe I have too much criteria. But I have high standards because a man who truly wants to be in my life will rise up and meet those standards.