10 Ways for Men to Win Bonus Points

            My entire life I’ve always been labeled “one of the guys” because I’m such a tomboy and just have a better relationship with men since there isn’t any drama or fakeness. Many times my guy friends come to me for female advice because I’m the best of both worlds to them.

            I decided to comprise a list of 10 simple, random things that will help any man win major bonus points with a girl, whether that be his girlfriend, wife, or even just someone he’s crushing on. They work, trust me.

10. Randomly slip your hand into her back pocket.

When you’re walking along and just want to be cute, slide your hand into her back pocket. It’s even better when you’re kissing her and do it to pull her a bit closer.

9. Kiss her on the forehead.

Forehead kisses are sweet and she’ll feel special. It’s an easy way for you to show her you care because they are simple kisses that will give her a sense of safety and security. It lets her know you like her and you’re not into it just for sex. It shows just a bit of affection without going over the top like a full out PDA make out. (Even more bonus points if the forehead kiss comes after a huge bear hug!)

8. Give her your hoodie.

As much as she’s going to tease you and try to steal it, every girl knows you’re not actually going to part with your favorite baseball hat. She’s going to want to wear that too, but give her your hoodie so she can sleep in it. It smells like you and when you’re not there to cuddle and fall asleep next to her it’s the next best thing.

7. Surprise her with flowers for no occasion.

Don’t wait until she’s mad at you and you’re trying to make up for something. Out of the blue either show up on her doorstep with a bouquet or have one sent to her. Flowers are expensive, but they don’t have to be from the store. You can pick them yourself, no shame in that! Even a single rose is just as romantic, if not more romantic than a dozen if a sweet note accompanies it.

6. Run your fingers through her hair.

She will absolutely love if you play with her hair. Don’t forget to tuck it behind her ears when you go to kiss her too!

5. Kiss her in mid-sentence.

Don’t do it all the time because she will get mad you keep interrupting her, but every now and then just look her in the eyes while she’s talking and make her pause with a kiss. This also works if you’re fighting and you’re ready to surrender. It’s a way of saying you’re sorry and just want forgiven. Also do not do this if she’s trying to tell you something serious or important. Wait for the perfect moment.

4. Remember the little things she says even if they’re pointless.

Prove to her you listen to everything she says. Bring up a point she made in conversation weeks ago. She’ll be taken back that you paid attention to such a trivial detail about her life. Remembering the little things shows you’re genuinely interested in her.

3. Remind her that you care.

If you care about her you want what’s best for her and for her to be happy. Sometimes that means giving up time spent with her so she can do other things she loves or spend time with someone she hasn’t seen in awhile. She’ll know you care if you encourage her to follow her dreams and not stand in the way of that. Always support her even if you don’t necessarily agree with the situation. Remember that it’s still her life and it’s ultimately her decision. Make sure she knows she’s first in your life. She doesn’t want to take a backseat to your hobby or job all the time so be sure to make her your top priority and keep her as happy as possible. (Do so without being a pushover though)

2. Appreciate the little things she does.

She probably really, really didn’t want to come over just for you to work on your truck all day because it was the only day you had to do it. If she didn’t complain (and even if she did a little) show her that it meant a lot to you. When she takes the time to make you dinner, (even if it’s terrible) find the good in it. If she’s going out of her to do special things for you make sure you return the favor.

1. Spoil her with love, not gifts.

Treat her like a queen. You don’t need to buy her everything. She’d much rather be spoiled with love and genuine compassion. Sometimes that can be as simple as holding her hand and making sure she knows how much she means to you. Tell her everyday how much you love and care about her, but don’t say it just to fill a void in the conversation. Those three words are so powerful yet so overused. They don’t hold true meaning unless expressed correctly. Maybe write her a letter and leave it for her to wake up to about how much you love her. Don’t be afraid to let her see the sweet side of you.

            These work I promise. Don’t use them all at once all of a sudden though or your girl will know something is wrong or has changed. Life is about waiting for a good moment and turning it into a perfect one.

Every girl wants to live a fairytale. Be her knight in shining armor. I say knight rather than prince because it’s the knight who actually proves to the princess he cares while the prince sits at his castle and waits. You’re never going to find your princess if you stand on the sidelines letting someone else win her over.

Best of luck and may your fairytale have a happily ever after.

A Dream Relationship

These are the characteristics that should be at the top of everyone's list.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/sophie-martin/2014/01/21-things-to-look-for-in-the-person-you-marry/

The Large Impact of Small Words

            The other day I received a text out of the blue from a kid I went to high school with. We were on again, off again friends with no hard feelings when we parted ways at graduation, but also no promises to ever meet up again.

            Unfortunately our class was filled with cliques and drama so the chances of us ever having a reunion or meeting up in the future are slim to none.

            As a class though we experienced a painful tragedy when the mother of one of our classmates was killed in a car crash back in October. This boy was friends with everyone and the entire class took it very hard.

            For the sake of confidentiality I’m not going to include his name, but the text went like this:

            Hey Francesca, it’s        . I just read your bog about With Life, Come Lessons: Fearless. I haven’t really shared this with many people but ever since        ’s mom passed away (God bless her soul) I have been struggling to understand my faith and the concept of life and death. While struggling, the fear of death grew inside me. For two months that’s all I could think about. It was controlling me and I wasn’t the same person. After reading your blog I realized that we shouldn’t fear death. Reading that made me feel more accepting of death and to not let it control me while I’m alive. I just wanted to let you know that you helped me out without even knowing it.

            I didn’t start this blog for any reason other than to be able to express myself. I’m not trying to be a psychologist, or Dear Abby, but I want to help people. If publicly sharing my feelings over the internet helps someone cope with their own feelings and problems and perhaps change their view on life, I feel like I’m making an impact and doing good.

            That single compliment may have been one of the best I’ve ever received in my life. It’s incredible how much a few words can affect a person.

            I hope this blog has helped not just my friend from high school, but others as well.

            To the sender of that text if you’re reading this: thank you so much. Your kind words are the reason I continue to write and why I want to help people and make a difference in the world.

Fearless

Is it strange to say that I’m not afraid of death? I just can’t fully grasp why people say it’s their biggest fear. What is there to be afraid of? It’s something you know is going to happen eventually and there is no way you can stop it. There is no magical cure to prevent it from happening. You may not know when your time is, but you have to accept the fact that one day you will no longer be present on this earth. Nonetheless, it seems to be one of those fears that is always in the back of people’s minds.

Some people never take risks in life because they blame it on the fear of death. I live by the saying, “live your life to the very fullest with absolutely no regrets.” You can’t do that if you’re cautious and refuse to take chances. Injuries will eventually heal and pain will go away. My bucket list includes sky diving, learning to ride a motorcycle, riding a bull, hang-gliding, zip lining, and rafting the Grand Canyon. Some pretty crazy things, but I know they’ll be fun as hell and make for some great memories too. Why not try these things? Life isn’t going to be fun if you don’t make it fun. And if you’re guaranteed to die one day, why don’t you at least die knowing you did something worth living for?

I hope that one day my funeral will be a celebration. I don’t understand why all funerals need to be sad? I want mine to be a party with music, dancing, and happiness. The only things people need to be sad about are that I’m not there dancing around or taking shots with them.

I’m not going to pretend I’m fearless though because that’s the farthest thing from the truth. What I’m afraid of are bigger things – things that affect the outcome of life and how you live it.

I’m afraid of failure. There is nothing worse than knowing you didn’t succeed. That feeling at the end of the day that tells you you’re pathetic and you could’ve done more. You could’ve studied a little harder, ran a bit faster, tried a little more. Sometimes the fear of failure has prevented me from actually trying things. Sometimes I’m so critical of myself that I can’t bring myself to try. Failure is something you can’t escape though and the occasional failure is healthy. You can’t learn a lesson unless you fail every now and then. It keeps you grounded and humble if you admit there is always a chance of failing.

Similar to the fear of failure is that of disappointment.

I’m afraid of disappointment. Not only disappointing others but of being disappointed too. The shame of letting people down is, for lack of better words, embarrassing to me. I have this problem of saying no because I don’t want to let others down. I also hate to get my hopes up for fear that things aren’t going to work out. I’ve actually taught myself to always expect the worst so if the best does happen then I’m happy.

What I’m most afraid of though, is falling in love. I’m afraid of a broken heart and the hollow feeling that takes over your life. I’m afraid of rejection and that empty numbness that sits in when you feel alone in the world.

I acknowledge that I run from love. I’m scared I’m not going to measure up to a guy’s standards and I’m never going to be good enough for him so I don’t give him the chance to love me. I refuse to love too. I’ve built such a shell around my heart and am cautious about who I let in. It takes a lot for me to let a guy get to know me and usually when he tells me he likes me I get scared. Him saying that he likes me could lead to more. I don’t want to give him expectations or lead him on so I just silently slink away. And it’s because I’m afraid.

It’s the scariest feeling to trust someone else with your heart. You have to believe that they’re going to be faithful and love you in return. You’re left completely vulnerable. The heart is so fragile and can shatter as easily as glass.  It just takes getting hurt one too many times. Each time you close down a little more and become a little more guarded. It’s so much easier to simply avoid it by distancing yourself from love.

Maybe one day the right man will come along to make me change my stance on love. But I’m content and happy with who I am to know I don’t need someone. I have my heart guarded and if you can break through that shell you must really mean something to me.

I’m worried that at the end of my life I’m going to look back and wish I had done so much more. I know I won’t regret anything I’ve done though. The places that I’ve been to have opened my eyes to new ways. The people that have walked in and out of my life have done so for a reason. And the things I’ve learned from the most unexpected events and places have taught me some of life’s greatest lessons.

Nonetheless I’m still scared. I worry sometimes that maybe I’m making the wrong decisions now that are going to affect me for the rest of my life.  I try to live every day fearless and like it’s my last. Whatever happens happens, and one day my time too will come. But until then I’ll be conquering my fears and living my dreams.

This Year I Will...

It’s that time of year again!

            Faithful gym rats please vacate for the next month and a half while wannabes invade and then slowly clear out once they give up on their goal of losing weight.

            So I can aim for my usual new year’s resolutions of eating healthier, exercising more, swearing less, being a nicer person, and so on and so forth. But let’s be realistic. The chances of me sticking it out and following through with all of these are slim to none.

            This year though I’ve decided to have an overall resolution to try to be a more well-rounded and better person. I figured there are a few ways to do this, allow me to share.

            My biggest resolution is to put down my phone. My iPhone might as well be glued to my hand. If I get bored during a conversation I rudely find myself checking social media or deciding if there is a text I should reply to. I vow to start leaving my phone in my car or purse when I’m with friends. I also am going to try to become less dependent on social media. I have a tendency of checking so often there is nothing when I hit refresh and I want to rid myself of the habit.

            I also want to become more involved. I’m not sure with what yet, but whatever it is I want it to be a good cause and I’ll be doing it from the heart. Too many of my volunteer actions prior to college were honestly just for my résumé, but any college kid who says otherwise is just lying. I’m promising myself that even if I don’t outright start volunteering somewhere in the new year, I want to start putting a lot more time, thought, and effort into my dream of owning a therapeutic horse ranch. The earlier I start planning my dreams, the easier they will fall into place. This ranch is going to be my way to give back to veterans who have given to me and I know it’s going to take many years to come true, but might as well start now.

            I’m going to become a better spender and not such an impulse buyer. I tend to be the sort of person who buys something as soon as I see it. Before I do this, I’m going to start thinking it over and making the decision of whether or not it’s necessary and worth the purchase.

            Something so simple, yet so overlooked, I plan to start enjoying life more. Today’s lifestyle is so hectic and I’m the type of person to over extend and max myself out. I’m going to start taking time to do things for me and that I enjoy. I’m not sure what those things are yet, but in due time I’ll figure them out. I’m also going to appreciate life more, especially the little everyday things I take for granted.

            I vow this year to listen to my heart. Too many times in my life I’ve tried to please other people and do what I know would make them happy, putting my happiness on the back burner. This is my year. I will not sacrifice my life and my happiness and have it ruined at the expense of others. Call me selfish, but I’ve been selfless for far too many years. It’s time to follow my dreams and accomplish my goals without allowing others to stand in my way.

            Enjoy the moment. Too often I spend so much time worrying about the future I forget to live in the present. In 2014 I plan to live each day to the fullest while not always worrying about the next. Life is too short to worry and too many moments are passed by thinking about the future.

I will give more compliments, but only genuine ones. There is nothing better than a compliment you know is from the heart. It warms you and makes you feel good about yourself. I want others to feel that way too so I’m going to try to give at least one random, from the heart compliment a day.

            My list is simple. There isn’t anything here that is out of reach or crazy, yet there are also no over night transformations. This time next year I’ll obviously be a different person. I just hope that those differences have come due to the changes I want to make.

            On a more comical note, resolutions I hope to work on in my spare time:

·      Flipping an omelet

·      Stop setting six alarms and just wake up and get out of bed when the first one goes off

·      Either actually laughing when I type “LOL” or just eliminating it from my texts altogether

·      Remember to write 2014 rather than 2013

·      Try to become less sarcastic….maybe