This Year I Will...

It’s that time of year again!

            Faithful gym rats please vacate for the next month and a half while wannabes invade and then slowly clear out once they give up on their goal of losing weight.

            So I can aim for my usual new year’s resolutions of eating healthier, exercising more, swearing less, being a nicer person, and so on and so forth. But let’s be realistic. The chances of me sticking it out and following through with all of these are slim to none.

            This year though I’ve decided to have an overall resolution to try to be a more well-rounded and better person. I figured there are a few ways to do this, allow me to share.

            My biggest resolution is to put down my phone. My iPhone might as well be glued to my hand. If I get bored during a conversation I rudely find myself checking social media or deciding if there is a text I should reply to. I vow to start leaving my phone in my car or purse when I’m with friends. I also am going to try to become less dependent on social media. I have a tendency of checking so often there is nothing when I hit refresh and I want to rid myself of the habit.

            I also want to become more involved. I’m not sure with what yet, but whatever it is I want it to be a good cause and I’ll be doing it from the heart. Too many of my volunteer actions prior to college were honestly just for my résumé, but any college kid who says otherwise is just lying. I’m promising myself that even if I don’t outright start volunteering somewhere in the new year, I want to start putting a lot more time, thought, and effort into my dream of owning a therapeutic horse ranch. The earlier I start planning my dreams, the easier they will fall into place. This ranch is going to be my way to give back to veterans who have given to me and I know it’s going to take many years to come true, but might as well start now.

            I’m going to become a better spender and not such an impulse buyer. I tend to be the sort of person who buys something as soon as I see it. Before I do this, I’m going to start thinking it over and making the decision of whether or not it’s necessary and worth the purchase.

            Something so simple, yet so overlooked, I plan to start enjoying life more. Today’s lifestyle is so hectic and I’m the type of person to over extend and max myself out. I’m going to start taking time to do things for me and that I enjoy. I’m not sure what those things are yet, but in due time I’ll figure them out. I’m also going to appreciate life more, especially the little everyday things I take for granted.

            I vow this year to listen to my heart. Too many times in my life I’ve tried to please other people and do what I know would make them happy, putting my happiness on the back burner. This is my year. I will not sacrifice my life and my happiness and have it ruined at the expense of others. Call me selfish, but I’ve been selfless for far too many years. It’s time to follow my dreams and accomplish my goals without allowing others to stand in my way.

            Enjoy the moment. Too often I spend so much time worrying about the future I forget to live in the present. In 2014 I plan to live each day to the fullest while not always worrying about the next. Life is too short to worry and too many moments are passed by thinking about the future.

I will give more compliments, but only genuine ones. There is nothing better than a compliment you know is from the heart. It warms you and makes you feel good about yourself. I want others to feel that way too so I’m going to try to give at least one random, from the heart compliment a day.

            My list is simple. There isn’t anything here that is out of reach or crazy, yet there are also no over night transformations. This time next year I’ll obviously be a different person. I just hope that those differences have come due to the changes I want to make.

            On a more comical note, resolutions I hope to work on in my spare time:

·      Flipping an omelet

·      Stop setting six alarms and just wake up and get out of bed when the first one goes off

·      Either actually laughing when I type “LOL” or just eliminating it from my texts altogether

·      Remember to write 2014 rather than 2013

·      Try to become less sarcastic….maybe

Your Other Half

This past week I took my finals and finished my first semester of college. It’s hard to believe that a year ago today I still had no clue where I was even going to go to college and 364 days later I’m one semester in.

I took a humanities class at Syracuse entitled, “What is Belief?.” Yes, the title was in the form of a question and I figured it would be a blow off class I could get an easy A in to boost my GPA.

Well that was the farthest thing from the truth. I failed all three tests I took and I’m hoping the final went a little better. But what I took from that class was much more than what my letter grade will ever reflect.

On the first day of class our professor asked us the simple question of whether or not we believed in soul mates. If you believed you were to stand on one side of the room, nonbelievers were to stand on the other. The Debbie Downer that I am chose the nonbelievers side. I don’t believe, or at least have convinced myself that I don’t belief in soul mates because of one too many failed “true loves.”

Since the first day of class though, I’ve spent the entire semester thinking about whether or not I believe in soul mates. This class caused me to think about a lot of things differently than I normally would. As for the soul mates question, it was again brought up on our final and the three-sentence maximum wasn’t enough for me to accurately get across the conclusion that I came to that satisfies me.

I now do think soul mates exist, but they don’t always have to exist in a romantic way.

I think there are a few predetermined people you are destined to meet who you will just have a certain connection with. It’ll be a connection that is different from any other connection you’ve experienced before. These people will change your way of thinking and how you view other people. Relationships with soul mates are different because you understand each other perfectly. These are the people who can finish your sentences, know exactly what to order you without even asking, and could write a biography about you without even having to verify facts because they already know everything.

One of my favorite movies is Wedding Crashers, and when asked what a soul mate is, Owen Wilson’s character replies that, “It’s your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.”

That could be taken romantically, and many times it is. But my conclusion is that this person or perhaps even people aren’t always going to be your significant other.

It’s your soul and body finding that person who it just connects with more than it does with others.

After thinking about this I don’t view soul mates as a romance anymore. It was always my stereotype that a soul mate was my knight in shining armor who was going to sweep me off my feet, I’d fall madly in love with, and live happily ever after.

Now I realize that my soul mate is my best friend who I can call at any hour of the night and she will stay on the phone with me for hours. Or my other friend who I text and say I’m having a bad day and she shows up with some food she knows I love and is there to make it better.  Granted, I do love these people, just not in the romantic way that it’s often assumed a person is supposed to love a “soul mate”.

A soul mate could be anyone: a friend, sibling, parent, teacher, or person you’re dating or married to. It could be just about anyone you’ve ever interacted with.

Maybe soul mate isn’t the right word for them. But it’s now my thoughts that a soul mate is someone who means a little more to you than anyone else. You could trust them with absolutely anything in this world and they feel the same about you. You would go to the ends of the earth for them and they would be willing to as well.

Not everyone has the same definition of a soul mate, that was apparent in the class on the first day when we were practically split down the middle as to who believed and who didn’t. But in my definition I believe in them. I know I have two people in my life who have always been there for me and will always be there for me. I feel the same way towards them too.

My professor probably never realized that such a simple question would have such a huge impact on my life. But that’s what college is all about right? Realizing who you are and how relationships with other people work. Coming to this conclusion doesn’t externally change my relationship with these people, but it makes me appreciate them a little bit more.  

The Rules to Get a "Yes"

            For some reason the other day I wasted 27 minutes watching a guy propose to his girlfriend on YouTube. It just so happened that today the video of the guy who proposed to his Chicago Luvabulls girlfriend was floating on my timeline so I made my friend watch it with me. She proceeded to cry about how beautiful it was that a guy would go to that extent and put in that much effort to show his love for his girlfriend by asking such a simple question. I then continued to search YouTube and watch these incredible and sometimes outrageous proposals. Why? You got me, but it made me wonder how I want a guy to pop the question to me.

            It seems a lot of my friends and people close to me have been getting engaged lately and I’m just sitting here writing this blog and keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll have someone to kiss under the mistletoe or to ring in the new year with. (But trust me, an engagement is LAST on my list right now so don’t think I’m hinting at something!)

            To top it off I saw Disney princess engagement rings on Twitter the other day and fell madly in love. In the event that I actually do meet a guy someday, will someone direct him to those rings? I would absolutely melt if he opened the little box and it was a princess ring!

            Anyway, I have rules for when a guy is ready to spend the rest of my life with me. These are “rules” that most girls would agree with, so fellas, use this as a standard checklist. And again, if I ever find a serious boyfriend someone needs to show him this list so he knows the drill.

            First, ask for my parents’ blessing. I can’t stress this enough! I will never forget the time I witnessed a guy propose to his girlfriend at Outback Steakhouse (classy, I know) and she called her parents to tell them the news. From the next booth over I could hear her parents screaming that he never asked their permission. His reply was that they didn’t return his phone call. Don’t be this idiot! Man up and make sure you get the okay.

            Second, make sure it’s a complete surprise. I don’t want to have the slightest suspicion that you’re going to ask me. But don’t make it so obvious and out of the blue that I know it’s coming. Don’t do anything that’s going to give it away and don’t drop hints.

            Third, pick a good spot and plan it well. People for the rest of our lives are going to ask two things, how we met and where we got engaged. You don’t need to go to the ends to the earth and ask on top of the Eiffel Tower or on a safari. Just make sure it’s somewhere that’s, “us”.  Maybe it could be where our first date was, or how we met, somewhere special we’ve gone? This is your job to find the absolute perfect place that captures our relationship perfectly! (hint hint, can’t go wrong with a Steelers game or over a candlelit dinner you’ve prepared – just saying!)

            Fourth, prove to me that chivalry isn’t dead. Be old-fashioned and get down on one knee (and a cheesy line about how much you love me wouldn’t hurt).

            Fifth, use my full name.

            Finally, please catch it all on camera. If you have someone video record it that would be awesome, but I want pictures. I want to see my reaction and what everything around me looks like. I never want to forget that moment so make sure there are cameras or people hidden in every corner to capture the moment.

I don’t think I’m too picky or demanding now am I?

Don’t be afraid to ask for help! If you haven’t met my best friends then chances are that it’s not time to ask me to marry you yet. They know what I love and would be more than willing to help you set it up and execute it exactly how they’d know I want it.

Now, just to find the right guy…..the time will come, eventually.

Mr. Perfect, Part 2

One of my Facebook friends posted this the other day and I thought it was worth sharing. Just a little bit to add on to my previous post about how Mr. Perfect should act.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kate-bailey/2013/12/10-old-fashioned-dating-habits-we-should-make-cool-again/

WANTED

I think every girl in her life has her vision of what that “perfect man” is like.

Not going to lie, I’ve dated quite a few guys. Those relationships didn’t work out for various reasons, but also because he didn’t measure up to what my view of this perfect guy is.

            I don’t want a guy to change to meet my standards though. If he’s not himself then he’s going to be too wishy-washy and a pushover in a relationship.

            So I decided to comprise a list of what I’m looking for. If you know a man like this send him my way!

           

            I want a country boy.

Why? For multiple reasons. First, because he’s not going to spend hours like a preppy frat boy getting ready to go out. A man who spends longer than me getting ready I have no interest in. Maybe I’m being stereotypical saying a country boy, but they are some of the hardest workers. My dream guy isn’t lazy. Sure, every now and then everyone needs a lazy day, but I want someone who busts his ass and doesn’t quit until the job is done. Country boys also have small town morals. They’ll drop whatever they’re doing to help their friends or even complete strangers. And obviously I want a guy who respects my love of horses and acknowledges that he may play second to them sometimes.

But moving on:

I need to be able to have deep conversations with him and be able to talk about things like feelings. But then turn around a few minutes later joking and teasing each other. On that note, a guy who makes me laugh is a must.

This man must realize that even after he “has me” and I’m his girl, he should never stop trying to show me how much I mean to him.

Here’s a secret: there is nothing I love more than surprises. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top. Even just leaving a note for me to have a great day goes a long way.

I’m a simple girl. I don’t need to “go out” all the time. I’m a cheap date I swear. Take me mudding, fishing, four wheeling or snowmobiling, or to a field so we can star watch, all I want is just to spend quality time with him.  

Also make plans every once in awhile instead of leaving it up to me.

The little things, like waking up to cute text messages every so often, cuddling, forehead kisses, taking pictures with me, and playing with my hair all go a long way.

Be goofy. Sing with me. He doesn’t have to be George Strait, but when we’re driving around I need someone to be Johnny to my June.

Some major things:

He must realize it’s not all about him. He can’t be egotistical, arrogant, and think the earth revolves around him because it sure as shit doesn’t.

            He has to treat his momma right. I was always told that the way a man treats his mom is how he’ll treat his future wife. If his mom doesn’t mean something to him I can tell you real quick how the relationship will go….

I’m looking for a gentleman. I like to believe that chivalry still isn’t dead. A guy who walks on the outside of the street and opens the door is a keeper. I also am not going to play second to his cell phone. If we’re together and he spends more time on his phone than he does talking to me, I see where we stand and how important I must be in his life.

He must respect me. I’ve let myself be disrespected and treated bad enough times to realize I’m better than that and deserve more.

He has to be honest and faithful. I think this goes without saying but some guys still struggle with this concept.

            Listen to me. I don’t like to share my feelings, but I guarantee if I’m being deep and need a heart to heart it’s something important.

            He needs to encourage me and show me he cares. Be my number one fan in everything I do and make sure I know I always have a cheerleader supporting me.

            This perfect guy needs to accept my family, appetite, uncontrollable laughter, random outbursts, friends, dreams, and me.

           

            I want a best friend, not just a companion. He doesn’t need to be perfect, just perfect for me.

            He’ll need to accept my past, realize I’m flawed, acknowledge I’ve made mistakes, and recognize I have weaknesses.

            I’m waiting for the man who would do anything just to be my everything.

            Maybe my standards are too high? And maybe I have too much criteria. But I have high standards because a man who truly wants to be in my life will rise up and meet those standards.