A Letter To My Younger Self

To my younger self:

Buckle up; it’s going to be a hell of a ride.

            It will be one of the most relieving feelings when you stop trying to fit in and accept who you are. You’re a leader, not a follower. It doesn’t matter if you don’t wear designer clothes and that you prefer your cowboy boots to heels. It’s okay you’re a tomboy, don’t stress about it and try to act girly. You’re not a girly-girl so quit pretending to be one. Caking on makeup is a waste of time and a pain in the ass, don’t bother with it. Don’t be self-conscious that your hair is curly while every other girl is straightening her locks every day. Your curls are beautiful and your hair is healthy, you don’t need the fried ends.

Being labeled “one of the guys” doesn’t make you a slut; don’t let anyone tell you differently. You’re going to have more guy friends than girls going through high school, but it makes for less drama. Don’t get caught up in the drama and bullshit of life. Gossiping gets you nowhere and starting rumors only leads to trouble, stay away from that. Realize the people you call your friends right now aren’t always going to be the same ones who are they for you forever. Find your true friends and hold on to them. They will be there for you through everything.

            Embrace your flaws and your inner beauty. You’re never going to have a “thigh gap”. The many miles that you’ve ran and will continue to run and all the years of horseback riding will prevent that, as does your Italian heritage. The plus about not having a thigh gap though is that when food drops on your lap you’ll be sure to catch it! Being skinny isn’t everything. It isn’t worth the pain of starving yourself and exercising for hours and hours a day. You’re beautiful the way you are. You’re never going to be a size 0, but you can be healthy which is much more important.

Your family is going to be there for you for everything. Even when you feel unloved, they will support you and be your rock. Don’t push them away. You may not believe it, but they care. Appreciate all they do for you too. They’ve made, and will continue to make so many sacrifices to ensure your happiness, be sure to thank them every now and then.

Don’t be so quick to open up. Be hesitant about who you place your trust in. Not everyone deserves that privilege so make sure a person is worth spilling your secrets to before you do.

Remember you are a special girl and you deserve to be treated that way. DO NOT LOWER YOUR STANDARDS! A boy who doesn’t respect you doesn’t deserve your time. And do not actually believe you can change a guy. You will find a man eventually. You don’t need to be looking for one now. Enjoy and embrace the single life because that’s where the best memories will come from. Don’t bother being tied down because you’re going to miss out on a lot of fun because of it. More importantly though, never put someone’s happiness before your own. Be selfish in that way, but don’t be self-centered. Learn the balance.

Try not to offend people with your honesty and don’t be critical. There is a fine line between brutal honesty and hurting someone’s feelings. Flirt with it, but try not to cross it.

Don’t let people tell you your ideas are stupid. Sometimes they’re just going to be jealous of your dreams and ambitions, but don’t let them discourage you. Never doubt yourself. Only you know your true potential, share that with the world. When people scoff at your dreams, prove them wrong.

You’re never going to please everyone so don’t even try to. Also remember that perfectionism is overrated. As long as you are happy and doing what you love, forget everyone else.

Be proud of where you come from. Brockway may seem like the most boring place to live now, but you’ll miss that little town when you leave. Also be thankful for the lessons you’ve learned there and the people you’ve been raised with. They are truly one of a kind and you won’t find anybody like them outside of that town. They are some of the kindest people you will ever meet. Someday you’ll realize just how fortunate you were to be raised there and you’ll want to raise your family there too.

Take risks or else you won’t have any memories to look back on. Life is short. Don’t be afraid to do crazy things. It’s okay to fail and it’s okay to look foolish every now and then. Be able to laugh at yourself though and try again.

It’s okay to have no idea what you want to do with the rest of your life. You probably won’t know for many more years so don’t let that scare you. Try new things and if something interests you become involved.

Always say I love you. Each and every single day tell the people you care that you love them. Never go to bed mad, angry, or upset because you’re not guaranteed the next day. Be quick to forgive. That doesn’t mean you have to trust again, but try not to hold grudges. Never go a day without telling the people you care about that you love them though. They deserve to know.

You’ll figure this all out in due time.  Some things you’ll wish you would’ve known sooner, but if you’ve experienced it, you’ve learned a lesson.

Follow your dreams, believe in yourself, and realize you can do anything you set your mind to. You’ll make it, I promise. Just relax, breathe, and enjoy the ride.

Love,

Your future self