Find Your Escape

            Stress.

            It sucks.

            Is there anything more I really need to add?

            It’s the things that keeps you up late at night or the thoughts that wake you up at odd times from what wasn’t a very sound sleep anyway. It’s what makes you eat a lot of junk food or maybe nothing at all. It causes breakouts, perhaps even rashes. You may gain a lot of weight or lose a significant amount instead. Everybody is effected by stress in a different way.

            I wrote this blog in parts because I was so stressed (and because I was supposed to be studying for finals). I felt in order to capture the true essence of what stress is and how it makes a person feel I might as well be experiencing it at some point while writing though.

            Stress is a normal occurrence in life, especially in the upbeat society that we live in today.  I could go on and on about what it is in medical terms but I think everyone has experienced it before and doesn’t want to think about it anymore than necessary.

            Instead, I’m going to dedicate this blog to coping with stress.

            Now there are a million and one different ways to deal with it. Simply googling “how to cope with stress” I returned tons of answers, and some of those ways are fine and dandy. But everyone has something they can “get lost in”, that makes stress melt away. I’m going to put some of my psychology classes to use right now and share with you a bit of information that I actually learned this semester. That optimal feeling is called flow. It’s becoming one with whatever you’re doing and it is a concept that was invented by the humanistic researcher Csikszentmihalyi. It’s becoming so engaged in whatever you’re doing that there is a sense of effortless and perfection. For me, that engagement comes with a trip to the barn. I can be in the worst mood ever, have tons of projects due, papers to write, tests to study for, and everything else that comes along with being 19, in college, and having a job on top of that, but the minute I slip my boots on and step foot in the stable, it’s like I’m being transferred to a different world. My problems don’t seem to exist at the barn. It’s like time stands still and allows me to rejuvenate and when I step back into reality and the real world, everything is that much easier to handle. 

            Everyone has a different haven. I know my mom’s is when she walks into her studio and tackles whatever crafty project she’s currently working on. For some people it’s the gym, for others just a walk through the woods. Some people though don’t even have to go anywhere. Instead they just pick up an instrument or a book or blast some music and dance around and get lost in what they’re doing. It’s those wonderful moments of doing what you love and looking at the clock realizing time has passed.

            Take a power nap. A nap may be the last thing on your mind because you don’t have time, but a half hour can do miracles. You’ll be reenergized and ready to tackle anything. Or maybe take a bubble bath. The soothing feeling along with some good smelling suds will clear your mind for a little bit. Go to the pet store or play with your own pet. Sometimes just a little bundle of joy with a wagging tail can calm you down and make you smile.

            And honestly? If all else fails, cry. One of the things that will make you feel a lot better is simply a good cry. Just sit there and cry. Let it all out and move on.

            I encourage you to figure out what your get away from life is. When things start to get stressful go to that place where you can relax and get your life back together. Things will get better. Maybe not right away, but they will eventually. Find your happy place. 

Gimme a Brake!

            I’m so happy to have gotten the chance to spend the Easter weekend with my family at home. Unfortunately I’m not going to have the three full days I was going to get though because on the way home my mom and I took a little (or an entire night) pit stop along the way.

            So I’ve come to terms that I may have the WORST car luck in the entire world.

Let’s flash back to mid-February. It was around 10^o and with the wind-chill it had to have been below zero at 9:00 PM on a Friday night. My equestrian captain at school was bringing a group of us home from our lesson at the barn and we were all freezing from our lesson and also the fact that her car didn’t have heat. As we were waiting to turn at a red light her car stalled out. Which you may think this really isn’t a problem, but she drives an automatic so we knew something was wrong. We could smell burning and there was a little bit of smoke coming from the hood. We didn’t know which was worse, being in a car that we didn’t know if it was going to catch on fire or standing out in the freezing cold while waiting for AAA. Let’s call this strike one on Francesca. (On the plus side, I ordered food to be delivered to my dorm when I got back and since we broke down they actually delivered it to our intersection! I think that was the first time the delivery man had every done that…..) Thankfully, her boyfriend wasn’t busy and he came to our rescue while we waited for AAA. As we were sitting in his car though, his battery died. Strike two.

            We ended up jumping the car and getting the other towed and all was well. But a week later I was driving with another member of our team to a horse show out of town. We got settled in at our hotel and went to meet the rest of the group at a restaurant down the road. When we pulled out I could tell something was wrong and I insisted that he had a flat tire. He didn’t believe me though and kept going. Well, needless to say, I was right and it was flat. So strike three?

            I should be “out” but I keep pushing my luck.

            The following weekend I was on my way home from a horse show except this time I was riding in the trailer so I could help unload when we got back to the barn. When we were leaving, my coach’s mom knew she had enough gas to get back to the barn but as soon as we got going the gauge dropped drastically and we coasted through the hills, a full horse trailer in tow, running completely on fumes.

            I knew then I must be cursed; yet I continued.

            That same night I was going to a banquet out of town with a guy I show horses with. I warned him of my luck and he said his battery wasn’t corroded, he had a full tank of gas, his tires were good, and engine was sound. We had a good time at the banquet and were on our way home. After a long day of showing we were both beat and he still had to wake up the next morning to be at the barn at 5:00 AM again. He had a long drive to Syracuse and then had to back track to get back to where he lived. There were a few snowflakes in the air and he was cruising down the interstate as he saw a cop sitting on the side of the road. He slowed down right away and continued on for about a mile before the cop finally pulled us over. We got off lucky though in what must have been the quickest traffic stop of my life, but regardless, we did get pulled over.

            The following weekend I went home for a wrestling tournament and to spend some time with my friends and family. My dad was picking me up in Syracuse where we were going to turn around and make the 4-½ hour trip home. As soon as he pulled in though I could tell there was a problem. His back tire was completely flat. So change it, what’s the big deal? Well his spare was only one of those compact tires that can get you 100 miles or less and you can’t exceed speeds of 55-mph. Well that wasn’t going to do us much good for the 274-mile trip home. It was 6:00 PM on a Thursday night though, most garages were closed, and the only garage that was open couldn’t even get the 18-inch tire he needed until Monday morning.  Somehow though my charming father was able to sweet talk a deal out with the Audi dealer and we made it home by 1:00 AM in a car off their lot.

I thought my bad luck had finally ceased, but boy did I think wrong.

The tournament I came home for was about 45 minutes away from my town and I wanted to leave early in the morning to see my best friend wrestle in the first round. I was going to the tourney with a friend of mine because we hadn’t seen each other in awhile but he had to work that morning so we knew we were going to be cutting it close. The two of us always argue trucks because I’m a Ford girl and he drives a blacked out Chevy (that is a little eye-catching I must admit….). I kept giving him hell for us being late and possibly missing the first round so he was flying (also trying to prove what a smooth ride the Chevy was). Well he flew right by a cop who pulled us over not even 100 yards from the exit we were going to get off at. Unfortunately, this friend of mine wasn’t so lucky and he got slammed with a hefty fine for going way over the speed limit.

So all has been well and good for the past few weeks. Until last night my mom and I were coming home. It was around 8:30 or so and the trip had been smooth. We stopped for a quick dinner at a Wegman’s and we were right on the New York/Pennsylvania border. I was driving and drifted, ever so slightly, off the side of the road and all you could hear was boom, boom, boom, boom, BOOM and what it must feel like when a rocket lands. The damn torn up road completely popped one of my tires and since it was late and my mom doesn’t have a spare on her vehicle we ended up staying the night at a hotel. We were towed the remaining way this morning so I finally made it home!

Phew.

I admit that’s a lot.

           Now I kindly warn people about the luck I have and the danger that comes with riding in a car with me.

            Hopefully the worst is behind me and there are no problems in the near future! I don’t think I can take much more?

            I hope my ridiculous luck at least put a smile on your face today and you can pity the people who still have the courage to drive with me.